U R able to pull the cable—round 2

Sunburned, tripping on cheap tacos and Mountain Dew, Art and me, me and Art commenced on round two. He would take his turn on the inside of the car, me on the outside started pulling with a passion. I use the word passion judiciously here because I think it’s becoming overused¹ and so you have to understand I really mean it rather than just tossing it in to make it sound like I’m serious.

Until my wife pointed out a frequent result of my passionate behavior, I was not able to identify it as such. Things get hurt. Not just things get hurt, unless you consider people, their bodies, parts and feelings² as things. Let me say, then, people and things get hurt as a result of my passion. My things get hurt. This means I approach a project with vigor, with power, with force as though not doing so would build up momentum, which it does, and discourage others from getting in the way, which it does sometimes but not always. Not always because those who love and care about one displaying such actions can be alarmed and concerned. They express this alarm and concern by getting in the way. The loop intensifies when the passion knob turns up to eleven, not only encouraging the well-meaning soul in the way to get out of the way but hurting them in the process. This hurt I do not intend to cause. My intention at the moment of infliction is rarely clear, that I am whole dedicated to the process with all the energy and power I can muster. Witness think I am mad, as in insane, that I don’t care what anyone thinks. However, I do care what anyone thinks. These manic moments offer a tacit explanation, so obvious from my point of view that slowing down, easing up, stopping would be absurdly unnecessary. So, I press forward through the pain of others, the pain I’ve caused and will understand later if such a thing occurs to me. My pain also arrives delayed. A couple of days later my joints ache, muscles become implanted torture devices, sometimes I go blind and/or cannot sleep despite exhaustion.

Passion and devotion to the power of influenced-by-a-miraculous-even equals abandonment. The self is abandoned. Regard for pain is no longer regarded. One has arrived at the so-called zone. One loses oneself to the point that resources and talents are brought to the surface one never knew existed or thought possible. And so, we learn yet another fulfillment of Jesus’ maxim “He that loses himself shall find himself.” Millions of lives are lived and ended without having considered this notion. Far more never realize it. Blessed is the individual who accomplishes this thing without thought, notice, wonder or self-congratulations on having done so.  For such a person is far more real and whole a person for having done a thing because it is the thing to do for its own sake, as the end in itself, rather than as a means.

1. to the point of dilution of meaning–see my essay on “Word Inflation” that I have yet to write…but the reference to which will be linked from here and replace this disjunctive qualifications [↩]
2. no, not passions [↩]