Why wasn’t there a provision in place for such an obvious catastrophe?
Why can’t we just drop big concrete blocks on it from the surface, like?landing a penny on a cup from above an aquarium? We could even offer?prizes, like the winner gets a living planet.
Didn’t anybody ever hear of Murphy’s law? Oh, that’s right. Murphy is Irish.
Were the golf balls used for the initial plug from the B.P. executives’ private stash?
Will this whole thing be cleaned up in time for Spring Break 2011?
Can I skim a bunch of the crude off the surface for my own personal refining purposes. I mean, I’ve got all these empty water bottles I could fill with crude or they’ll just wind up in the Pacific Ocean Gyre.
Is this crude equal to the crude language everybody is suggesting President Obama needs to use to get across his point?
What would Jed Clampit do? Heck, he’d probably get Elly Mae and her critters workin’ on it before Granny got wind of the whole mess.
When will Andrew Lloyd Weber’s hit musical based on this disaster open on Broadway?
Is it true that for every botched attempt to repair the leak and mutant porpoise learns to speak?
Would anyone care if this was happening in the?Indian Ocean?
13. Has anyone thought to get any comments from Captain Hazelwood? He got sentenced 1,000 hours of community service, you know. Oh, and by the way, that spill, way back when, was more like 30 million gallons rather than the 11 million gallons so popularly mentioned.
14. Has anyone seen any figures estimating the mortality of marine wildlife associated with this mess? It’s hard enough being a turtle from South Padre as it is.
15. How’s the stock doing for the company that provides oil-spill cleanup equipment. There’s gotta be a winner in this deal somewhere!
16. What if we all got together and shouted “Stop little kettle! Stop!”
17. Could an alternate universe be experiencing a saltwater leak into an ocean of oil?
